KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.
MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens and
he said unto the chickens
"Thou shalt cross the road". And the
chicken
crossed the road
and there was much rejoicing.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own
chicken
nature
PLATO:
For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross
roads.
HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of phlegm in
its pancreas.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crosses
the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies
whatever motive there was.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
DARWIN:
Chickens over great periods of time have
been naturally selected in such
a way that they are now genetically
disposed
to cross the roads.
EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or
the road moved beneath the
chicken depends on your frame of reference.
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned
that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road....it
transcended it.
TIMOTHY LEARY:
Because that s the only trip the
establishment
would let it take.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JNR.:
I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into
question.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of
the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The
chicken
was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the
competencies
required for the newly
competitive market. Andersen
Consulting,
in a partnering relationship
with the client, helped the chicken
by rethinking its physical
distribution strategy and
implementation
processes. Using the Poultry
Integration Model (PIM) Andersen
helped the chicken use its skills
methodologies, knowledge capital
and experiences to align the chicken's
people processes and technology
in support of its overall strategy
within a Program Management
framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a
diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts
and best chickens along with
Andersen consultants with deep
skills
in the transportation industry to
engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings
in order to leverage their
personal knowledge capital, both
tacit and explicit, and to enable them to
synergise with each other in order
to achieve the implicit goals in
delivering and successfully architecting
and implementing an
enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry
cross-median processes. The meeting
was held in a park-like setting
enabling and creating an impactful
environment which was strategically
based, industry-focused and built
upon a consistent, clear and unified
market message and aligned with
the chicken's mission vision and core
values. This was conducive towards the
creation of a total business
integration solution.
Andersen Consulting helped the chicken
change to become more successful.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has
gone before.
RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat the chicken did NOT cross >the
road.
RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion
and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road you see represents the
black man.
The chicken "crossed " the black man
in order to trample him and keep him down.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own
eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross the road before you
believe it?
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross the road?
I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think
to
ask what the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place anyway?
OLIVER STONE:
The question is not "Why did the
chicken cross the road?"
Rather it is "Who was crossing the road
at the same time whom we overlooked
in our haste to observe the chicken
crossing?"
BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken
Office 2000 which will not only
cross roads but will lay eggs file
you important documents
and balance your cheque book.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?