
Harry
Edsel
Smith of Albany, New York:
Born
1903-Died
1942
Looked
up
the elevator shaft to see
if the
car was on the way down.
It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here
lies
an Atheist
All
dressed
up
And no
place to go.

On the
grave
of Ezekial Aikle
in East
Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here
lies
Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
The Good
Die Young.

In a
London,
England cemetery:
Here
lies
Ann Mann,
Who lived
an old maid
But died
an old Mann.
Dec.
8, 1767

In a
Ribbesford,
England, cemetery:
Anna
Wallace:
The
children
of Israel wanted bread,
And the
Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk
Wallace wanted a wife,
And the
Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here
lies
Johnny Yeast.
Pardon
me For not rising.

In a
Uniontown,
Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here
lies
the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped
on the gas,
Instead
of the brake.

In a
Silver
City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here
lays
The Kid.
We
planted
him raw.
He was
quick on the trigger,
But slow
on the draw.

A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir
John
Strange.
Here lies
an honest lawyer,
And that
is Strange.

John
Penny's
epitaph
in the
Wimborne,England, cemetery:
Reader,
if cash thou art In want of any,
Dig 6
feet
deep
And thou
wilt find a Penny.

In a
cemetery
in Hartscombe, England:
On the
22nd
of June,
Jonathan
Fiddle Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont
Here
lies
the body of our Anna -
Done to
death by a banana.
It wasn't
the fruit that laid her low,
But the
skin of the thing that made her go.

On a
grave
from the 1880s
in
Nantucket,
Massachusetts:
Under
the
sod and under the trees,
Lies the
body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not
here, there's only the pod.
Pease
shelled
out and went to God.

In a cemetery in England:
Remember
man, as you walk by,
As you
are now, so once was I.
As I am
now, so shall you be.
Remember
this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To
follow
you I'll not consent
Until I
know which way you went.

And last
but not least,
a friend
of mine found this in Key West:
"I
told
you I was sick!"