Some humorous Epitaphs

Les épitaphes...le dernier mot!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903-Died 1942

Looked up the elevator shaft to see
if the car was on the way down.
It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle
in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
The Good Die Young.


In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec.  8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:

The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me For not rising.


In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas,
Instead of the brake.


In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

John Penny's epitaph
in the Wimborne,England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.


In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont

Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.


On a grave from the 1880s
in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.
 

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went.


And last but not least,
a friend of mine found this in Key West:

"I told you I was sick!"
 
 

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