Le monde selon la doctrine de Zen
. Do not walk behind
me,
for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not
follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the hell
alone.
The journey of a
thousand
miles begins
with a broken fan belt and
a leaky tire.
It's always
darkest
before dawn.
So if you're going to
steal
your neighbour's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.
Don't be
irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Always remember
you're
unique.
Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that
your
sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
It is far more
impressive
when others discover
your good qualities
without
your help.
If you think
nobody
cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of
car payments.
Before you
criticize
someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you
criticize
them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish
and
he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat
& drink beer all day.
If you lend
someone
$20, and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
Some days you are
the
bug,
some days you are the
windshield.
Good judgment
comes
from bad experience,
and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
The quickest way
to
double your money
is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like
the
force.
It has a light side &
a dark side, and
it holds the universe
together.
There are two
theories
to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
Generally
speaking,
you aren't learning much
when your mouth is moving.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
We are born
naked,
wet, and hungry.
Then things get worse