.
He rings the bell and the owner
tells him the dog is in the back yard.
The guy goes into the back yard
and sees a mutt sitting there.
.
"You talk?" he asks.
.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
.
"So, what's your story?"
.
The mutt looks up and says
"Well, I discovered this gift pretty
young and I
wanted to help the government,
so I told the CIA about my gift,
and in no time they had me
jetting
from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and
world leader,
cause no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable
spies eight years running.
The jetting around really tired
me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger
and I wanted to settle down.
.
So I signed up for a job at the
airport to do some undercover security work,
mostly wandering near suspicious
characters
and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible
dealings
there and was awarded a batch of medals.
Had a wife, a mess of puppies,
and now I'm just retired."
.
The man is floored. He says to the
owner,
"This dog is amazing,
incredible.........
Why on earth are you giving him away?"
.
The owner replies, "He's such a
bloody liar."
Inner Strength
.
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when,
through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
.
Then you are probably the family dog.
WANTED
The following ad in "The Atlanta Journal" is reported to have received numerous calls:
.
"SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods,
riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips,
cozy winter nights lying by the fire.
Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
Rub me the right way and watch me respond.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work,
wearing only what nature gave me.
Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy."
.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society
about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.