Le pari-mutuel
Mitch, a hard-shell United Church member, loved to sneak away to the race track.
One day he was there betting on the ponies and nearly losing his shirt
when he noticed this priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed
the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
.
Lo and behold, this horse - a very long shot - won the race.
.
Mitch was most interested to see what the priest did the next race.
Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track
as the 5th race horses lined up, and placed this blessing
on the forehead of one of the horses.
.
Mitch made a beeline for the window and placed a small bet on the horse.
Again, even though another long shot,
the horse the priest had blessed won the race.
.
Mitch collected his winning and anxiously waited to see which horse
the priest bestowed his blessing on for the 6th race.
.
The priest showed, blessed a horse,
Mitch bet on it, and it won!
Mitch was elated!
.
As the day went on, the priest continued blessing
one of the horses, and it always came in first.
Mitch began to pull in some serious money,
and by the last race,
he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true.
He made a quickstop at the ATM,
withdrew big money and awaited the priest's blessing
that would tell him which horse to bet on.
.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track
before the last race and blessed
the forehead, eyes, ears and hooves of one of the horses.
.
Mitchell bet every cent, and watched the horse come in dead last.
Mitchell was dumbfounded.
.
He made his way to the track and
when he found the priest, he demanded,
"What happened, Father?
All day you blessed horses and they won.
The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost.
Now I've lost my savings, thanks to you!!"
.
The priest nodded wisely and said,
"That's the problem with you Protestants...
you can't tell the difference between
a simple blessing and the Last Rites."