Christians
are funny
During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!"
The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.
The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?"
The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.
The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.
The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage.
The Jews posted symbols on the doors hoping that the fire would pass.
The Congregationalists shouted, "Every one for himself."
The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God."
The Anglicans formed a procession and marched out.
The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire.
The United Church appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and make a written report.
The televangelist grabbed the secretary.
But the secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.
(From Jeff Bullock, Chaplain of the Canton, Ohio Fire Department.)
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The minister looked at the offering plates after the ushers had brought them forward. Seeing three pennies among the rest of the money, he said, "I see that we have a Scotsman here today." From the back of the sanctuary a voice said, "Aye, three."
(From The Reverend Ralph L. Clark, Meadville United Methodist Church,
Meadville,
Mo.)