
12. The most destructive force in
the universe is gossip.
.
13. You will never find anybody
who can give you a clear and compelling reason
why we observe daylight savings time.
.
14. You should never say anything
to a woman
that even remotely suggests that
you think she's pregnant
unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
.
. 15. There comes a time when you should
stop expecting
other people to make a big deal
about your birthday.
That time is age eleven.
.
16. The one thing that unites all
human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion,
economic status or ethnic background,
is that, deep down inside,
we ALL believe that we are
above average drivers.
.
17. The main accomplishment of
almost
all organized protests
is to annoy people who are not in them.
.
18. A person who is nice to you,
but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention.
It never fails.)
.
19. Your friends love you anyway.